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Defense Attorney:
- Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
- I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney:
- Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
- There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
- Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
- No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
- What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
- He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
- Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
- No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
- Why not?
Little Old Lady:
- It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
- What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
- He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
- Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
- No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
- Why not?
Little Old Lady:
- His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I have not felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
- What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
- Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and told him:
- Take me, young man. Take me now!
Defense Attorney:
- Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
- Hell, no! He just yelled:
- April Fool!
- And that is when I shot him, the little bastard!
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